Substiitute teaching has always been regarded as a difficult and stressful job. I have substitute taught in classrooms, art and physical education for nine years. Some days have been stressful, but I have learned if you have a positive attitude and realize that students aren't against you, they would ridicule anyone who dares to take their teacher's place, the day seems to go easier. One of my funniest experiences happened during a stressful day of substituting PE in an elementary school.
Like many teachers, this woman had not planned to be sick. She had no lesson plans, but she did have a schedule. Like many substitutes, I had a bag of ideas to draw from if the situation ever occurred. I decided to play Doctor Dodge (or Medic) with all my classes. It is a variation of the all-time favorite elementary game, Dodge Ball. In Doctor Dodge and Dodge Ball the rules are similar, except if hit by a ball the player is not out. He is injured. The doctor retrieves the player and puts him in the ambulance (a scooter). He is taken to the hospital (baseline), where he is cured and rejoins the game. The game is over when the doctor is hit by a ball.
During the morning classes, I explained these rules and the students enjoyed the game. We had very successful periods. Then the class before lunch came into the gym. This class was a group of rowdy fifth graders. They were loud, boisterous and almost to the point of being disrespectful. I had them run laps around the gym so they would tire out enough to listen to my explanation of the game. This trick worked well. They were sitting quietly, breathing heavily, while I started talking. During my monologue I started walking backwards towards the ball box to show the class we were using the soft nerf balls. I miscalculated my steps and fell right into the wooden crate.
There was a dead silence across the gym. I was stunned . I wasn't quite sure what had happened. I had thirty pairs of eyes staring at me. I did the only thing I could think of, I started to laugh. I laughed so hard, I didn't have the strength to crawl out of the wooden box. Two of the boys who had previously given me problems walked to the front of the class, grabbed my hands and pulled me out of the box.
When I turned around to see where I had landed the entire class started roaring with laughter again. One of my rescuers was kind enough to inform me I had a two inch gash in my pants that framed my bare butt.
Sweatshirts are very handy clothing items. Mine was worn draped across my hind quarters and tied in a knot at my waist.
With every ounce of dignity I could muster, I continued to teach the rest of my PE class. The students were very helpful and I didn't have any behavior problems the rest of the period.
When I entered the staff room for lunch, everyone stopped eating and looked at me. One teacher asked if I was the substitute PE teacher. I replied yes. She then said her fifth grade class was curious. They wanted to know how I was planning to entertain them. I guess my behavior management techniques had quickly spread through the school.