As she stands looking over the horizon with the wind gently passing through her black satin hair, the tears well up in her soft green eyes like waves on the ocean. She asks herself over and over?.

Who am I? Why am I here again?

She can't seem to figure out why this tred mill never stops. She longs for that special someone to whisk her away from all of life's turmoil, but the songs in the wind just continue sounding like birds and trees. Where is that prince charming?

Over the years her suitors come and go and come back again only to raise feelings of caution and concern. The longing is there; she needs someone; she wants someone, but she just can't open herself up. She needs someone who can see through her callus brick wall, someone who knows her pain still creates fear. She is afraid to let that someone in.

How would she know if this is the right mate. He flies in like the eagle soaring above, says the right things for the moment, then ?

They kiss and hold each other tight. For a few brief precious moments they connect.

Then they open their eyes and realize there guard is down; they have become vulnerable. She steps back and he looks away. They part, wondering why they block their feelings. How could this be? Back to work, back to life, back to loneliness.

They mustn't give in. What if it does not workout? The hurt, the pain, the torment, they put all aside as they part. But will later meet for another brief moment.

Six months down the road he reappears. Now she wonders "Can I trust this man?" He disappears with no explanation now he just wants to pick up where we left off.

His sandy brown hair, his gentle touch is more than she can handle. Who is he? What does he want from her? She doesn't have time for this. She can't, she won't, and she mustn't allow herself to get close.

Friends, that's good. We can walk on the beach, run through the woods maybe even go out to dinner or walk around the lake. A kiss now and then a gentle hug. Nothing more?just good friends. A release not hurtful, not degrading, not too involved. A special man just to talk with. That's safe, reassuring, non-threatening.

A year comes and goes; they meet again. The same passionate kiss, the same gentle hug; the same apprehension. The connection is there like a bird to the wind, like a wave in the ocean, like the rain from the clouds. Again and again they meet and go their separate ways. The years come and the years go?Who am I? What do I want? Where is he? What are we? Friends good old fashioned friends. But is that where we want to stay? She asks herself why he sparks such feelings when he passes through. She knows it is only for a moment. Then the tears will come and the mixed feelings will rise and the questions will begin all over again. Who am I? Who is he? Who are We? The fear of the unknown. The fear of being vulnerable. The fear of opening up into unsafe territory.

There he goes again. The cold distance of his talk. The bitter sweet charm. He is just as afraid as she. Life has become to complicated.

No more black stallions, no more fairy tales, Does he love her??? She will not know for sure. Does she love him??? She can't tell.

He hides in his work; she hides in hers, the misery of it all. Does he trust her?No. Does she trust him?No. Without trust their love has stalemated. What causes this mistrust?

She thinks he is a spy. Looking for deep dark secrets to ruin her life. He thinks she has too many gentleman callers. She has none. She can't help but wonder about his lack of interest over the months and then he returns for a few special visits. Never getting past that luscious kiss and that caress that is electrifying. They both in there insecurities part bringing tears the size of waves from the ocean and unsafe thoughts as their loneliness grows deeper and harder to break.