Growing up in a small town permitted frequent neighborhood frolics. When the gang got together, summer days always seemed to go by fast. Drake Sullivan was my best friend. Everybody called him Duck. Because I was always seen with him and first name started with a G, the gang called me Gander. Drake and Gander 'R US.

In second grade I was a superhero. During class time, I was quiet and shy, never raising my hand to participate. But on the playground, I was the Grander Gander performing feats of magnitude. How many people do you know that can crawl up a tether pole upside down? This amazing talent gained me the admiration of my peers and the adoration of one girl in particular.

But just as Superman had his Kryptonite, I too had mine. The incident occurred during parent conferences. With great anxiety and trepidation, I walked my parents across the room to meet my teacher. My power left me as I realized with horror, I had just introduced my teacher, Mrs. Rohr, as . . . Mrs. Growl!