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Hammer Head
The thrill of being able to explore alone, yet together and without adult supervision was excellent. Eager and the jolliest of ride partners we approached the giant “Hammer Head" Its flashing red and yellow lights caught our attention and stopped us dead in our tracks, awe struck by the giant green contraption that completed 180 degree swoops, leaving its occupants hanging upside down. They were thirty feet off the ground and screaming with joyous terror at the absurdity of their predicament. The ‘Hammer Head’ riders were strapped in an oval shaped cage with a bar across their waists and their seat belts tightly fastened. Karen and I waited in line until it was our turn to enter this cage of terror. The Tattoo man, who worked this particular ride, helped us into the cage. He was a tall bronzed man with curly brown shoulder length hair and large sculpted arm muscles with fascinating tattoos that danced on his arm muscles. I imagined he had a hard ass biker girlfriend with bleached red hair and black leather pants. This tattooed carnie wore dark jeans, no shirt and a green bandana wrapped around his head .As we sat down on the rusted metal seats of the cage, the Tattoo man warned us in a gruff and gnarly baritone voice that we’d better, “Hold on to the bar!” As the ride began to move I blurted out “oohs and ouches” with each upward jolt. I knew Tattoo man’s warning meant ‘danger was approaching’ and I assumed we must have done something wrong or he wouldn’t have been so harsh with his words. Later I realized that it was difficult not to slip underneath the bar and that we’d better hold on or we’d really be hurt! The cage rocked back and forth and once the ride started we were also jostled up and down, and side to side and catapulted in every direction. Defying gravity we began roaring with laughter and howling like hyenas while our heads were thrown mercilessly forwards than backwards and by the time the Hammer Head finally stopped I had wet my pants. Climbing out of the cage, wobbling and dizzy I fell into the sawdust, still roaring with laughter, and pressing both hands between my legs trying to stop the flow of pee! Karen and I looked at each other and were in complete agreement as we both yelled out, “ Let’s do it again!” We repeated the Hammer Head adventure ride many times until our money and stomachs were spent and it was time to head home. I never actually vomited although I might have felt a bit nauseous during this bucking bronco hanging upside down cage ride. Mostly, I remember our uncontrollable non-stop laughter. It was one of the funniest experiences of my life. We had lived completely in the moment and after a long day of tumbling, banging and hanging I felt supremely relaxed and content. That evening I sat on the carpet in front of
the television
set and suddenly realized something was very different about me. I
stood up and
walked into the small yellow bathroom. I looked at myself again and it
was then
I realized what was different. I wasn’t worried or anxious about
anything. I
felt relaxed and was aware that I was experiencing a very rare
phenomenon. I
was at peace. There wasn’t anything to worry about. I reminded myself
that it
had been a couple of months since mom had gone on the rampage. And that
maybe I
could actually be free from the anxiety that haunted me each day of my
life. I
felt a glimmer of hope that nothing terrible or frightening might ever
happen
to me again. This was the beginning of independence. |